Am I Complaining?

What-luck-MeansI’m generally a pretty easy-going person.  I try not to let the small stuff get to me, and as a rule I’m known as the girl who’s always smiling.  Sometimes the smile isn’t as genuine as I’d like it to be, but it’s up there, plastered on my face just the same… a less-than-heartfelt smile often beats having to explain to people that I’m not angry; it’s not my fault my resting face is misery personified.  Can’t help it!

These days, I’m just frustrated.  There’s no sugar coating it – I’m at my wit’s end.  Being a renter has it’s ups and downs, and as much as I would love to have my own forever home, it’s just not in the cards right now.  And however badly I want to stay where I am now, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to remain civil to landlords who constantly push the limits.  I want out.  Today.  Right now.

I have a problem.  Well… problems.  First, it seems I must have been someone really horrible in one of my past lives, because Karma seems to have it in for me in the worst way.  I’m not a complainer normally – it’s just that it’s hard not to feel sorry for yourself once in a while when absolutely nothing seems to be going your way.  It’s not that I want to have my cake and eat it too (although honestly, who doesn’t??)… I would just like to taste a few measly crumbs every once in a while.

House hunting in a renter’s market.  Sounds pretty simple right?  There are always houses going up for rent, all over the place.  Except where I live!  Sure, things come up – I see them… I don’t want them.  I wouldn’t say I’m ‘picky’ per say.  But we do have some criteria which may be bent a little, but not completely broken.  It has to be a full house – it has to be detached – it has to allow pets – it has to be within a certain budget – and it has to be in one of two towns.  I guess that’s asking too much.

They are so far and few between, that the last few that HAVE come up have been snatched up before I can even get a viewing.  And the ones that aren’t taken, I don’t want!  I need a touch of fairy dust, or a wave of my imaginary fairy godmother’s wand… a little bippity-boppity-boo or abracadabra… and I need it soon, or I’m afraid my miserable resting face might become a perma-fixture, and my well of optimism might start to run dry.   Sigh.



I lay here in the quiet in the darkThe light of the full moon dancing on my skin

She keeps me safe as a mother does her child

A constant yet ever-changing love 

She watches over me, from her place among the stars 

A moment

I sit alone, under the shade of the old maple as the breeze gently sings through the boughs, the leaves dancing in perfect synchrony. Solitude in this moment is not lonely, but rather cherished…I am never truly alone. I hear the whisper of the air moving around me, calling my name in a language long ago forgotten. I feel the energy languidly flowing from the ground beneath me, into every cell of my being. A butterfly flutters by, wings as soft as a secret. And for a moment, all is right.  

Simon Says

Just thought I’d take a quick moment to revisit some previous thoughts that have probably already made their way into one or more of my posts…it’s been a while, so I can’t remember.  Yeah, my memory isn’t great.

Facebook “memories”.  You know what I’m talking about…those random things that pop up almost every day, showing you what you were doing this day years past.  Well today one popped up of a video I shared July 13th of last year, and as I watched it again it was like I was seeing it for the first time.  A young woman who has all but eliminated all of her trash… what she’s collected in garbage over a two year period easily fit in a small mason jar, with lots of room to spare (Trash is for Tossers).  All by making some rather simple life style changes, and better, greener choices, she’s doing what all of us should be doing.  But we are lemmings…followers of the crowds…zombies of marketing ploys.  Our society is surrounded by conveniences that have turned us all into lazy, complacent, apathetic drones.

So much talk about saving the planet, and yet nobody really wants to do shit about it… or we say we WANT to, but then we don’t DO anything.  We generate so much hot air with our empty chatter, we could probably melt the ice caps!

I want to start doing something about it.  I already recycle, but not nearly as much as I would like to.  I start projects I never finish – I get passionate about causes I never pursue – I’m a hypocrite, and I’m tired.  I can’t save the planet on my own, but I can do my part.  There are so many EASY ways we can all just do our own part… I’m done being lazy about it.  I’m done doing what the media keeps cramming into my head at every turn.  I’m going to follow through.  I’m going to pursue those causes, and finish those projects, and create new ones!

Step one will be the hardest part… ridding my home and my life of all that is unnecessary to it, and doing it in such a way that will send the least amount of it to a landfill.  Step two might be just as difficult…if not more so.  Getting my husband and teenage daughter on board with me.  I’ve tried before, and failed miserably.  It’s not easy to follow a dream when you’re doing it alone.  But we all live in this house together, and it’s time I put my foot down about something  –  something that means so much to me that they should see and understand that this is not a silly whim.  This is a matter that should be serious and important to every single person on this planet.

I’m going to do my part.  Will you do yours?