Something’s Missing…

I understand; although I don’t particularly like it;  that it seems to be accepted as the norm that as we grow older, we tend to lose some of the magic and joy the holidays bring us as children.  I’ve been disillusioned by choice for many years, believing that because I had a child, I should be entitled to these feelings.  This was a false entitlement apparently.  And through the past years, my Christmas spirit has rapidly dwindled to the point that this year, I have nothing left at all.  No joy of the season, no anticipation, no anything.  All I feel this year, is complete and utter indifference for the day that’s so quickly approaching.  Indifference, and dread.  And sadness.  I want to feel happy!  I want to be excited for the gatherings and festivities!  I just can’t seem to muster up enough energy to really care!  And I don’t know if I really should be sad, or if I should be afraid.  Is this a product of the continued and grossly increased commercialization of this once sacred time of year?  Or is it rather a product of my own lack of …I don’t even know WHAT it would be a lack of to be honest!  I just keep thinking, there must be something wrong with me!  But then I’ve heard the same sentiment come out of so many mouths around me this year…enough to make me believe that this is not really ‘abnormal’, per-se… but maybe some sort of epidemic!!!

scrooge

We can call it Bah-Humbug-Bug…or Scrooge Fever…or Grinch Flu… whatever it is, it seems it’s a wide-spread plague that’s attacked millions of us across the world.  We need a cure… I need a cure!  I want to see sugar plums dancing in my head again, surrounded by fairy dust and jingle bells!   I want to get excited by the thought of twinkling lights on a Christmas tree, and the smell of pine throughout the house, and hot cocoa on Christmas morning!  But it seems everywhere we turn, all we see is “SALE! SALE! SALE!”… I turn on the radio and hear “♪♫ For everything under the tree, there’s Sears ♫♪”, and about a million other commercials.  I don’t even WANT anything wrapped under the tree this year… all I want for Christmas, is the spirit that’s been slowly disappearing and has now completely vanished.  Will someone point me in the right direction???

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