Ups and Downs

I’ve been sort of MIA for the past 10 days – been trapped, so to speak, inside my own mind.  I get into these funks once in a while…they kind of creep up on me without my knowledge or permission and pounce when I least expect it.  Since I’m normally the happiest and perkiest and most positive person I know (my friends will attest!), this is extra frustrating for me and those around me.  They don’t know how to handle it, because it’s just ‘so not me’…what they don’t know is that in my teens and early 20’s, I was constantly plagued with long bouts of extreme depression…and now once in a blue moon, the sleeping snake rears its ugly head again.  I’m just glad I’ve developed the ability to charm it rather quickly into submission.  I much prefer to be happy.

So I’m pretty sure I’m back, although I feel like there’s so many emotions inside of me right now that I’m going to explode… Extensive amounts of soul searching are required, but otherwise, life is as it was, if not exactly as it should be.

soul searching

I knew I was back when my excitement started growing again when thinking of my dreams – I’m smiling again, and not only on the outside.  Tomorrow I will be putting in an early vacation request to my boss, so that I can start planning our first trip out to PEI – I’m making a family affair out of it, but my main focus while out there will be to explore the island and become familiar with the land…and possibly sneaking away once or twice to ‘peruse’ the availability of vacant land.  It’s all find and dandy to pour over  realtor sites for hours on end looking for land for sale…but when there’s no money just yet, and nothing is really set in stone, that remains pretty much an “up in the air” kind of dream.  I want my feet on PEI soil – I want to breath the salty air, and let the red dirt fall through my fingers.

The plan is for early to mid-July 2016…still seems like a long ways away, but if the pattern of time elapsing stays on track; it seems every year goes faster than the last; then July will be here before we know it!  Just thinking about it makes my heart smile!  Now THIS is a feeling I can hold on to!

contemplation

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